sultanmuzaffar

Unabashedly "Limited Edition"

Muzaffar Mustapa @sultanmuzaffar

Prologue

Dial-Up Dreams and Digital Destiny

Before we kickstart this time-travelling escapade through the tapestry of my life, let me set the scene: a world where the internet screeched like a banshee every time it connected and being "online" meant nobody could call your house. Yes, dear reader, I hail from the era of dial-up dreams, where my digital destiny was forged not in the fire of today's gigabit connections but in the slow, painstaking sizzle of a 56k modem.

From the get-go, my life seemed to follow the pattern of a poorly coded website—full of unexpected bugs and moments that made you hit the refresh button. But as with any good tech, it's the quirks that make the system unique, and boy, was my system unique.

So, buckle up (or should I say login?) for a ride through the digital age, seen through the eyes of a man who still remembers his first email password but can't recall what he had for breakfast. This is not just a story; it's an operating system update for the soul.

"The journey of a thousand websites begins with a single click." - A Techie's Twist on Lao Tzu.

Let's embark on the tour of my 50-year merry-go-round ride. This journey is filled with twists, turns, 360 spin and unexpected drops, chronicling the evolution of a breech-born baby into a digital geek (read: maestro). 

This personal observation is a unique amalgamation of witty anecdotes, a pinch of cynicism, and unapologetic satire for all things analogue or digital, illustrating my unwavering commitment to digital innovation.

Join us as we explore life's bewildering, bizarre, and outright bonkers moments. This unparalleled journey will give you immersive insights and "shallow" views towards incredible passion and dedication.

Breech-Born Buffoonery: An April Fool's Arrival

1974: Kudos to Dr JL for ensuring my grand entrance into the world was dramatic. It all started when Dr. John Low, possibly perplexed, welcomed me feet-first into the world. A breech baby born on April Fools'? The universe sure has a peculiar sense of humour.

Doc, my hat's off to you for ensuring my entrance was as backwards as some of my later life choices. You set the stage for a lifetime of not doing things by the book.

"Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like." - Author Unknown.

Jet-Setting in Diapers: My Inaugural Flight to Adventure

30 Days Later: I took my first flight before I could even burp properly, setting a lifelong precedence for an adventurous life despite not remotely remembering what happened at that point. Before my memories could even kick in, I was already a globe-trotter, charting skies in diapers. My first flight laid the foundation for a life brimming with adventures, proving you're never too young to start collecting air miles.

Thanks to my first international flight at a month old, I've been jet-setting ever since. Flying across the causeway was the start of more exciting destinations throughout five decades after that.

"Adventure may hurt you, but monotony will kill you." - Marcus Purvis.

The Unsung Heroes

My father was tethered to the rhythms of the sea, a man whose life was dictated by the unpredictable schedules of international cargo shipments. He was always on standby at the port, his life an intricate dance with the tides. On the other hand, my mother, a dedicated government servant, worked 45km away from home, which, in the landscape of my childhood memories, felt like a vast distance, a journey of commitment she undertook daily. She battled through the ordeal with the determination of a warrior, proving that the real war was fought on the federal highways.

Today, though one of many in my childhood memories, stands out for the profound realisation it brought - the resilience instilled by my parents' work ethics, the understanding of their sacrifices, and the independence they unknowingly nurtured in me. It was a foundational moment, teaching me the value of self-sufficiency, the strength found in solitude, and the importance of family, each of us bound by invisible threads of love and duty, navigating life's vast distances and unpredictable tides.

"It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons." - Johann Friedrich von Schiller.

"Behind all your stories is always your mother's story because hers is where yours begins." - Mitch Albom.

The Economics of Ice Cream: A Sweet Introduction to Capitalism

1978: Moved to the nearby port, where the bungalow and its vast compound were my kingdoms, complete with mango sentinels and sapodilla squires. My early financial literacy began with a one-cent ice cream transaction, proving my innate business acumen.

The year I discovered the purchasing power of a single cent, armed with nothing but a burning desire for ice cream and an iron will to navigate the economic complexities of childhood indulgence. Thank you to that one-cent ice cream for teaching me the value of money and the sweet taste of financial independence."

To the bungalow near the port, thank you for your spacious grounds that nurtured my love for freedom and possibly contributed to my dislike for confined spaces.

Learning the value of money, one ice cream at a time, with a one-cent coin. A sweet lesson in economics!

"Money often costs too much." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Grand Theft Auto: The Accidental Joyride

Circa 1978-1980s: Before Grand Theft Auto was a game, it was my short-lived career. A misguided attempt to start a fishmonger, Ah Chai's minivan, led to my first joyride. The day I nearly commandeered his minivan, I marked my first and last foray into grand theft auto. This led to my dad's misguided belief in my driving skills, culminating in a 20-meter' road trip' that did wonders for my self-esteem. It probably wasn't about trust as much as ensuring I didn't hijack the neighbourhood fish supply.

Thanks for the unintended driving lesson. It was my first and last attempt at starting a vehicle until I was legally allowed to.

It was a 20-meter journey that felt like a road trip. Thanks, Dad, for trusting a child with your car and igniting my first-hand driving experience when you returned from work daily.

"Life is too short for traffic." - Dan Bellack.

The Math of Life: Playing the Cards You're Dealt

1981: Cheers to my primary school for being so conveniently located. You made every "I overslept" excuse utterly unbelievable. Not a single school prefect dare to stop me at the gate.

I crossed the street to school, where a father-figure teacher gamified mathematics. Little did he know, he was preparing me for a life of calculating odds, whether in life choices or the stock market.

I realised that life is a lot like his card deck math lessons—sometimes you're dealt an ace, and sometimes a two of spades. But it's all about how you play the hand.

"Life is a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will." - Jawaharlal Nehru.

Cinematic Crushes and Silver Screen Dreams

1982: A pivotal moment discovering cinema and developing an incurable crush on the film industry. The cinematic awakening courtesy of Bila Hati Telah Retak—little did I know, this began my long-standing affair with the silver screen. It was an early lesson in the art of drama, setting the stage for teenage years filled with angst and over-the-top expressions of emotion.

Thank you to 'Bila Hati Telah Retak' for introducing me to cinematic drama and setting the stage for a lifetime of movie marathons."

"Cinema is a mirror by which we often see ourselves." - Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu.

Hitting the Wrong Note: Musical Misadventures

1983: I enrolled on the Yamaha Electone organ class and tennis lessons—activities I approached with the enthusiasm of a sloth on sedatives. Despite my parents' best efforts, my destiny lay not with music or sports but with keys of a different kind.

Yamaha, your electone organ class was a Saturday sacrifice. Grade 9, here's to you and never touching an organ again. To the tennis classes I never wanted, thank you for teaching me that not all hobbies stick, and that's okay.

To this day, my musical and sports talents remain...undiscovered.

"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent." - Victor Hugo.

UFOs and Unorthodox Discipline: A Year of Public Caning

1984: Thanks to a strict teacher who frequently used corporal punishment with a rotan always in his hands and unique disciplinary methods, I discovered knowledge about UFOs from him and received my first (but not last) public caning. Both events were equally traumatic yet oddly enlightening.

You Got 4A 1B: A Technological Hope

1985: The pivotal year of almost achieving digital greatness. The year my academic achievements were nearly immortalised with a computer. I was promised a tech throne for a string of As, but I instead learned life's first lesson in 'close but no cigar.' Thanks for teaching me the fine art of almost making it - a precursor to many software updates that promise much and deliver….well, almost."

"Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill.

You Got 5As: The Boarding School Gambit 

1986: The mischief of my Thundercats era led to an unexpected twist: being mistaken for a genius. Thank you, Education Ministry, for mixing up my grades and accidentally catapulting me into boarding school. It was here I discovered my first computer love, the IBM PC XT - my gateway to a digital paradise. This mix-up wasn't just an error but destiny donning a cloak of bureaucratic blunder."

To the Education Ministry, thanks for the mix-up granting me 5As. Your error was my early lesson in the magic of bureaucracy.

To my first computer, thank you for the endless nights of BASIC and LOGO coding and the start of a lifelong passion. That machine was more than a computer; it was a portal to new monochrome worlds in gaming and coding. It was love at first byte.

"Sometimes, when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations." - Steve Jobs.

First Love: The Byte of Destiny

1986: As a certified 5A student and newly minted computer geek, my initiation into the world of BASIC and LOGO wasn't just educational; it was the start of a lifelong romance with pixels and programming. The IBM PC XT wasn't just a machine but a friend. Thanks to my first computer for introducing me to a world where love is measured in bytes, and memory is something you upgrade."

"The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before." - Bill Gates.

Boarding School Bound: A Twist of Fate

1987-1989: Boarding school life, where I discovered my affinity for computing and Sheila Majid, marking the start of a lifelong fandom.

Boarding school taught me independence, but it was less 'Braveheart' and more 'Survivor: Teen Edition.' Thank you for the crash course in autonomy, from laundry battles to the strategic acquisition of extra dessert. You prepared me for adult life in ways I'm still unpacking.

Ah, the honeymoon period at an all-male boarding school--the term open to interpretation, especially in an all-male environment. Thank you for the lifelong friendships and the survival skills to navigate through a sea of testosterone.

Yet, the outside world was my weekend haven with its cinemas and freedoms.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - Allen Saunders.

Sheila Majid, Teenage Soundtracks and Cinematic Escapes

1987, Part Deux: The year Sheila Majid's Sinaran echoed through my life, setting the tone for teenage angst and dreams. Shoutout to Sheila Majid for providing the soundtrack to my adolescence. 'Emosi' wasn't just an album; it was my emotional education. 

Thank you, Sheila, for proving that elegance and soul could coexist, making every boarding school heartbreak slightly more bearable. And to the cinemas that were my refuge on every outing weekend, thanks for showing me worlds beyond the dormitory walls."

"Music is the soundtrack of your life." - Dick Clark.

The Brotherhood of the Computer Lab

1987-1989: Thank you to the brotherhood forged in the glow of computer screens. Between the BASIC programs and the shared dreams, we built friendships that no amount of time (or tech advancements) can erase. You made the computer lab a sanctuary where code and camaraderie intertwined.

"Friendship is born when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis

1989: Sijil Rendah Pelajaran exams—when I proved that perhaps there was a method to my madness, bagging 7As against all odds. This was a sweet victory in the otherwise bland stew of school life.

The Power of Three: The Chemistry of Confusion

1990: The MRSM saga, where chemistry and confusion reigned supreme; the year my love for chemistry was only matched by the confusion of sharing my name with two other Muzaffars. A special shoutout to the PA system for turning every announcement into a thrilling episode of 'Guess Which Muzaffar?' It's not every day your name causes a campus-wide identity crisis."

Being one of three Muzaffars made me realise early on that in a world of generics, being specific makes you stand out—especially when it's time for sick bay visits.

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." - Keri Russell.

Triple Muzaffar Mayhem

Dealing with a namesake crisis in school was like being in a weird reality show where everyone's named Muzaffar. Thanks to Muzaffar A. and M. Muzaffar for the shared identity and the endless mix-ups. Because of you, I learned to respond to all variations of our name with a keen sense of anticipation. Sometimes you can call me Capan, and the next day you can change it to Muzzy.

"Identity is a prison you can never escape, but the way to redeem your past is not to run from it, but to try to understand it and use it as a foundation to grow." - Jay-Z.

The Way Forward: A Morning of Motivation

1991: That one fine morning when our principal channelled PM Mahathir's visionary' Malaysia: The Way Forward' speech, setting my digital and tech compass for life. Not every day a school assembly decides your future, but when life gives you speeches, make a career out of it!"

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay.

The Chronicles of "The Cube": Unity in Quadrilateral Quarters

1991: Navigating the final chapter of boarding school, I found myself in 'The Cube,' a compact realm where lifelong friendships were forged amidst the chaos of adolescence. Here's to Faisal, Annuardi, and Khairul: we may have lost some along the way, but the bonds formed in that cramped cube endure. To survive the maze of youth at Rentas Desa and emerge with tales taller than our Bukit Gondol.

To my roommates in "The Cube," featuring Faisal (Acai), Annuardi (Didi), Khairul (Keon), and me, It reminds us that life is precious, friendships are priceless, and some songs hit differently when you sing them in English class. Thank you for the memories, laughter, and lessons in loss and friendship.

"In the end, not the years in your life count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln.

Reluctant Revelations at Dawn's Break

Balancing my duties as the Jemaah Disiplin Pelajar with my profound appreciation for sleep was like trying to keep a cat away from a warm laptop—it simply wasn't happening. A salute to Mr SB (warden before but now the Principal) for his innovative wake-up call via water hose, blending discipline with aqua-therapy. It was a lesson in priorities, punctuality, and the hidden virtues of waterproof bedding."

"Life is an alarm clock waiting to go off, and it's usually set earlier than you'd like." - Anonymous.

Lateral Thinking & Demonstrations Adventures: 

1991: Enter Mr. AAR, the classroom's breath of fresh air with a penchant for lateral thinking. Under his guidance, we ventured beyond the conventional realms of education, culminating in exploring freedom of expression. As part of it, I had to sing the song 'Hijau' by Zainalabidin. 

Here's to Mr. AAR for teaching English and orchestrating a symphony of thoughts that still echoes. Sing like no one's listening, especially when the curriculum demands it."

Thanks to Edward de Bono's creative lateral thinking and the opportunity to sing in class, a unique blend of education and entertainment.

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." - William Butler Yeats.

Peaceful Protests and Pint-Sized Politicos

1991: That year brought echoes of the Gulf War when even the youngest among us felt the stirrings of political consciousness. It was the year we took away our sights from books and took to the streets (or at least the department's block quadrangle) in a well-mannered demonstration against the US involvement in Iraq. 

Our placards might have been more oversized than we were, but our voices were loud, our intentions pure, and our actions guided by the conviction that even the smallest voices deserve to be heard.

To my fellow pint-sized politicos, thank you for teaching us that it's never too early to stand up for what we believe in, even if our understanding of global politics is similar to our DM's food tray.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead.

The Covert Chemist Chronicles: A Blond Ambition

1991: Stepping into the Chemistry lab with the stealth of a cat burglar, I embarked on a hair-raising experiment with stolen hydrogen peroxide. 

Who knew a chemistry lab could double as a makeshift salon? Note: They shouldn't. While my quest for blonde glory was less about science and more about style, it taught me an invaluable lesson: not all discoveries are found in textbooks, and not all experiments yield Nobel Prizes. Some just result in really bad hair days."

"Sometimes science is more art than science, Morty. Many people don't get that." - Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty.

The Final Countdown: Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia Saga

1991: The year culminated in the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia exams, a veritable gladiator arena of academia. Armed with the wisdom of years and a slightly dubious hairstyle, I faced my ten subjects with the courage of a lion and the preparation of a distracted, somewhat squirrel. Here's to the exams that shaped our futures, for better or worse. Education: where one's mental agility and ability to function on minimal sleep are tested.

By the way, I failed the GCE-O Level English 1119 exam. Thank you for keeping me humble and reminding me there's always room for improvement.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that count." - Winston S. Churchill.

The MARA Odyssey Begins

1992: With SPM behind me and the world seemingly at my feet, I ventured into MARA College. This two-year prep school promised a bridge to my future dreams, only to remind me that dreams are often built on paperwork and patience. 

Here's to MARA for teaching me that every incredible journey begins with a single, painstakingly filled-out form. Sometimes, the pen is mightier than the lecture in the quest for knowledge.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." - Lao Tzu.

Campus Politics and Coding: Leadership in the Making

1992-1994: College life, where my foray into student politics was as much about learning leadership as it was about navigating the intricacies of campus bureaucracy. 

Who knew rallying for votes among many sleep-deprived students could be an exhilarating experience? Winning the Secretary-General position taught me valuable leadership lessons, like always keeping your promises, especially if they involve extending library hours or improving cafeteria coffee.

"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." - Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Cinephile Chronicles: The Beginning

1993: "Perempuan Isteri Dan..." wasn't just a movie; it was a masterclass in the art of storytelling that no textbook could ever match. It set me on a path of cinematic exploration, digging into Rahim Razali's oeuvre, discovering the layers beneath the surface of "Abang," and finding the heartbeat of "Puteri." These films weren't just entertainment but life lessons draped in celluloid.

"Cinema is a mirror by which we often see ourselves." - Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu.

The Birth of a Critic

Navigating the nuanced world of film critiques became my unexpected passion. Each movie was a puzzle, each scene a question, and each dialogue a clue.

From the shadows of "Matinya Seorang Patriot" to the whispers of "Anak Sarawak," I learned to listen with my ears and heart. And so began my journey as a critic, where every film was a text waiting to be decoded, and every review was a piece of my soul that squeezed the filmmaker's thoughts.

"The role of the critic is to mediate intelligently and stylishly between a work of art and its audience." - Susan Sontag.

Geek Glory: Winning the Digital Oscar

1997: My geek spirit took flight, armed with Macromedia Director, Authorware, and the mystical arts of Visual C++. It wasn't just coding; it was crafting digital spells. 

The pinnacle of my geekdom, where my contribution during my internship programme to develop "Windows To Malaysia" earned us the Best CD Title at the annual ICT Awards.

It was a moment of validation for every hour spent in front of a computer screen. It was like being knighted in the kingdom of geeks. Here's to the project that made me a wizard in my own right. Programming: where you command the respect of machines and the bafflement of humans.

It was a turning point, cementing my love for technology and proving that, perhaps, this geek had found his calling. Winning the award wasn't just an honour but a sign I could make stuff people liked.

"In the world of programming, the hero is the one who deletes more lines than they write." - Unknown.

From Campus to Corporate: The Digital Pilgrimage

1998: As I returned from the hallowed halls of academia with my 2nd-class in B. in IT, I was thrust into the wilderness of job hunting. 

I penned applications and attended interviews, journeying from Cyberjaya's still-dusty roads to the corporate citadels of MSC, MEASAT, Maxis, and ASTRO. 

Each rejection is a stepping stone; every interview is a duel of wits. Here's to the early days of Cyberjaya, when dreams were big, and the roads were still under construction. Adulthood is when your dreams meet deadlines."

"Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door." - Kyle Chandler.

The Virtual University Venture

1998: Diving headfirst into the digital age, I landed a gig at Malaysia's first virtual university, blazing trails and buffering videos before it was cool. A month fresh from graduation's embrace, and there I was, decoding the future. Here's to Universiti Tun Abdul Razak, where 'virtual' meant 'the future' and not just 'almost.' It was the only time 'virtual' felt more real than reality.

"The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet." - William Gibson.

Y2K: The Party That Never Waits

31 December 1999: As the world buzzed with millennium celebrations, I was bunkered down in the office, safeguarding our digital domains from the Y2K bug. 

While others danced into the new century, I debugged into the dawn. Here's to the night spent with servers over spirits and codes over cheers. Y2K: The biggest party crasher of the millennium."

"The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred." - George Bernard Shaw.

The Monotony of Innovation

2000-2002: Leading the charge in multimedia development, crafting educational marvels like 'MUET: On CD.' Yet, the daily grind began to wear down the novelty, turning digital dreams into routine realities. 

Here's to UNITAR, where I learned that even innovation can become monotonous, but every CD burned was a lesson learned. In the realm of routine, creativity whispers.

Thank you for the boredom that came with routine. It reminded me that comfort zones are the most dangerous places to stay.

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower." - Steve Jobs.

2002 onwards: Birthed' sultanmuzaffar,' my digital diary, amidst a world yet to be obsessed with likes and tweets. Charting life's oddities and TV's novelties, who knew a blog could be more than electronic whispers in the vast web? 

"sultanmuzaffar" became my digital soapbox, proving that even the most mundane observations can captivate an audience, especially when reality TV is involved. Here's to the blog that turned me from a digital whisperer to a virtual shout.

"To blog or not to blog? That was a question that never needed asking." - Anonymous.

Reality TV's Unlikely Hero

2003: 'Akademi Fantasia' turned my quiet blog into a cultural touchstone, proving that reality TV can indeed inspire reality writing. Here's to the blog that danced in the limelight, marrying the melodrama of reality TV with the mundanity of everyday life. I didn't just ride the wave of reality TV; I blogged it.

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein.

Stage Frights and Spotlight Nights

2003: Who knew that Rumah Kedai Jalan Seladang would be the stage for my dramatic entrance into the theatre world? There I was, Leman, leading not just the play but an unwitting parade of emotions I didn't know I could evoke. 

Picture this: a night so electric with anticipation, even the original Leman, Mior Hashim Manaf, graced us with his presence. The pressure? Immense. The fear? Palpable. My demeanour? Absolutely selamba (unperturbed). 

That night's review was poetry in motion, describing me as a zombie with an unparalleled chill. 

"Leman, the stage zombie, worries flit about him, he remains chill, fear encircles him, he stays chill, in panic, he's the epitome of chill, even in sadness, his chill doesn't wilt. Such is the poem for Leman." 

Somehow, amidst the chaos of emotions and a jury panel with expectations as high as KL Tower, we clinched the Kumpulan Harapan title at the Festival Teater KL. If there's anything I learned, sometimes, being a metaphorical zombie in the face of life's dramas is the way to win. 

My Digital Domain: From Blogger to Digital Maestro

2004: ASTRO saw beyond the blog, offering me the reins of Akademi Fantasia's digital realm. Being part of ASTRO's Akademi Fantasia revolution taught me the power of the early days of broadband live streaming before it was cool. And Mr. ZA, 'Hiring you is a strategy'—well, that strategy made me part of a digital transformation that shaped a generation.

From managing the portal content to mobile quiz questions, from the academy's live streams to chat@15 moderation, I was the digital conductor of an online orchestra. Here's to the job that proved strategy comes from hanging out at the Jurassic Park. 

Thank you, Astro, for making "Hiring you is a strategy" sound less like a corporate move and more like the start of an epic saga. Spoiler: it kind of was.

The "blog sultanmuzaffar", this blog, thank you for being my outlet and unexpectedly turning me into someone worth hiring. They saw something in a blogger before, and it was cool.

"Strategy requires thought; tactics require observation." - Max Euwe.

The Newsroom Shift

2007: Traded the predictable beats of digital content provider for the 24/7 whirlwind of Astro AWANI. Transitioning to Astro AWANI, seeking new challenges and perhaps more sleep. The entertainment beat was thrilling and unpredictable, perfect for my burgeoning media career.

As I learned, news sleeps for no one, not even for a techie-turned-journalist. Here's to the job swap that taught me coffee is a journalist's best source of information."

"Journalism is an act of faith in the future." - Ann Curry.

Scuba Diving: The Gravity of Weightlessness

2008: A Salty Surprise: They say the first breath underwater is a miraculous experience. They don't mention the first taste of ocean water when your mouthpiece decides to betray you. It's like kissing a jellyfish – electric and not recommended. This unexpected cocktail of saltwater and mild panic puts the 'fun' in fundamentally questioning your life choices. And yet, it's a stark reminder that even at our most vulnerable, we can find a breath of fresh (albeit slightly salty) air.

Dancing with the Fishes: Watching schools of fish dart around you is magical. That is until you realise their grace and agility are starkly contrasted to your underwater ballet, which resembles a confused potato more closely than a majestic sea creature. In its infinite wisdom, the ocean offers a humbling lesson in humility and the art of not taking oneself too seriously. If a fish can move with purpose and grace, I can navigate the supermarket aisle more respectfully. Or so one would hope.

The Gravity of Weightlessness: The sensation of weightlessness is akin to discovering a loophole in the laws of physics—exhilarating, freeing, and slightly disorienting. It's a bit like being given a superpower, only to realise it comes with the caveat of not knowing how to control it. Bumping into underwater flora and fauna, I couldn't help but apologise profusely to a particularly stoic-looking turtle. "Sorry, new here!" I'd say as if it cared. In these moments, you learn the universe has a sense of humour and is not afraid to use it.

Arjuna: The Plot Twist of a Lifetime

2009: In a plot twist I never saw coming, 2009 brought Arjuna into my life with joy.

From that night on, Arjuna has been my constant companion, my sidekick in the grand adventure of life. Through ups and downs, highs and lows, this little guy has been a reminder that sometimes, the best things in life come unexpectedly and often in the smallest packages. 

Thank you, Arjuna, for teaching me that sleep is a luxury and not a necessity and that the depth of love one can feel is directly proportional to the amount of worry one can endure. 

Your entrance was like the opening act of a play I didn't know I needed a ticket to, transforming me from a solo performer to a duo act overnight. Standing tall at 180cm, you're a constant reminder that I once had control over the remote and now merely participate in negotiations.

Your mission to complete a diploma in multimedia and video is a testament to your generation's resolve to find careers in fields that didn't exist when I contemplated my future in between episodes of TV shows that required you to adjust the antenna to watch.

"Life is what happens to us while making other plans." - Allen Saunders.

From Entertainment to Enlightenment: The Entertainment Jury Duty

2009: From the audience to the jury seat, navigating the highs and lows of Malaysia's music and film scene was as exhilarating as it was daunting. Here's thanking every artist who made the decision-making agonisingly delightful, proving talent is truly boundless.

"Music is the shorthand of emotion." - Leo Tolstoy.

Streaming Ahead of the Curve

2010: I joined the pioneering team of Tonton & GUA, where streaming was more of a gamble than the norm. Here's to being at the forefront, showing that the future of entertainment was just a click away. I was glad to press 'play' on Tonto in a world of constant play and pause.

"The future is already here – it's just not evenly distributed." - William Gibson.

Digital Dreams and Disappointments

2010 & 2012: The short strings of Media Prima chapters were lessons in patience, resilience, and the art of digital persuasion, proving that even the most traditional platforms can learn new tricks.

The Tonton and GUA saga is a rollercoaster of digital dreams, dashed hopes, and the realisation that sometimes, to move forward, you need to step back.

To Tonton, thank you for being the Netflix before Netflix was cool in Malaysia and for letting me be a part of that pioneering journey.

Alt Media, for a moment, you were the dream, the hope of digital transformation. Our breakup was hard but necessary for growth.

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do." - Steve Jobs.

Election Turbulence: Navigating the Political Storm

2013: Leading digital coverage during the general election was like riding a roller coaster in a thunderstorm—exhilarating, terrifying, and nauseating. To the election that tested every fibre of my being, thanks for the sleepless nights and the crash course in digital diplomacy.

It taught me that in politics, like in life, you win and lose some, but you must keep your live feed running.

"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap." - Napoleon Bonaparte.

Breaking News and Broken Hearts: MH370

2014: It was the most heart-wrenching chapter in my career. The disappearance of MH370 was a sobering reminder of the weight words carry. 

Leading the coverage, we navigated through a sea of speculation with the hope of finding the truth. Thank you, MH370, for the lessons in responsibility, the power of community, and the unending quest for answers."

Thank you for the moments of unity and shared hope amidst tragedy. It showed that beyond the screens and headlines, there are human stories that bind us all.

"Journalism is printing what someone else does not want to be printed; everything else is public relations." - George Orwell.

Travel Adventures From The Middle Earth to the Roof of the World

1989: Las Vegas, United States

In Vegas, where the neon lights are brighter than my future, I learned joy isn't manufactured on the casino floor but found in simple, shared moments. Watching that elderly couple by the Bellagio fountains, more in love with each other than any jackpot win, I realised, "Even in a city of make-believe, the best things are real." 

"Las Vegas: Where your biggest gamble is the seafood buffet."

1989: Greyhound Bus Ride from Vancouver, Canada, to Los Angeles, California

This journey was less "On the Road" and more "On the Bus," where life stories were as abundant as legroom was scarce. Bonding over shared snacks and cramped seats, I discovered the beauty of transient companionships. 

"There's no quicker path to enlightenment than a cross-country bus ride, or at least to the realisation that personal space is a state of mind."

1997: Vatican City

Standing in the Vatican, surrounded by divine art and holy whispers, I felt a spiritual awakening—or maybe it was just the awe of seeing Michelangelo's work up close. It's where I learned the weight of history, and the only place being judgmental is reserved for the art. 

"The Vatican: Where every glance upward is a step closer to heaven, and every step on the cobblestone is a dance with history."

1997: Venice

Venice taught me that water is thicker than blood, especially when navigating its canals and alleyways. Finding beauty in the stillness of its waters at dusk, I realised, "Venice is the only city where getting lost is the point." 

"Venice: Where every street is a river, and every tourist is a navigator in the making."

2005: Gold Coast, Australia

On the Gold Coast, where the surfers are as golden as the sands, I embraced the art of riding waves—both in the ocean and life. It's where I learned that "Balance isn't just for surfboards, but for savouring each sunny moment before it sets." 

"The Gold Coast: Where the sun never sets on adventure, and the sharks are just misunderstood locals."

2009: Dubai, UAE

Dubai is a city where the buildings reach for the stars, and the palms are ordered by catalogue. Standing atop the Burj Khalifa, I realised, "Humans can make deserts bloom, and wallets weep." 

"Dubai: Where the line between ambition and hubris is as thin as the air at the top of the Burj Khalifa."

2013: New Zealand - Hobbiton Movie Set, Matamata

Wandering through Hobbiton, I found where magic beds down for the night, and even the sheep carry a sense of whimsy. It's where I learned, "The only thing more robust than a hobbit's appetite is their sense of community." 

"Hobbiton: Where you'll find the heart of New Zealand and possibly a ring or two."

2014: Nepal - Annapurna Sanctuary Mountain Trekking

Trekking the Annapurna Sanctuary, I battled altitude, attitude, and the realisation that yaks might be my spirit animal. Amidst the Himalayan giants, I discovered, "The best views come after the hardest climbs, and the best naps come after... well, anytime." 

"Nepal: Where every breath is a prayer, and every step is a leap of faith."

2016: Washington DC

In DC, amidst monuments and memorials, I learned that history is not just about the past but a lantern for the future. As I pondered democracy, I thought, "Freedom isn't free, but the museum entrances sometimes are." 

"Washington DC: Where the stories are written in stone, and the truths are self-evident."

2016: Philadelphia

Philadelphia, where liberty bells and cheesesteaks reign supreme. Walking the same cobblestone streets as the founding fathers, I realised that "Revolution starts with an idea, but always ends with a snack." 

"Philadelphia: Where every step is a history lesson, and every meal is a declaration of deliciousness."

2016: Niagara Falls

At Niagara Falls, where nature's majesty is on full display, the mist is as relentless as the souvenir shops. Here, I learned, "The only force more powerful than the falls is the urge to buy a poncho." 

"Niagara Falls: Where water's artistry meets humanity's penchant for boat rides."

2017: Gili Trawangan, Indonesia

Gili Trawangan, where the pace slows, the bikes rule, and the sea sparkles with a thousand secrets. Inspired by "Arisan 2," I ventured here to find the cinematic magic but found the tranquillity of island life instead. 

"Gili Trawangan: Where a wandering turtle causes the only traffic jam, and the only deadline is the sunset."

2019: Terrario Tangkahan, Indonesia

Inspired by Nicholas Saputra's environmental fervour, I waded through rivers and trekked jungles in Tangkahan to meet the gentle giants of Sumatra. There, among the elephants, I learned, "Conservation isn't just about saving the world; it's about rediscovering our place within it." 

"Tangkahan: Where every footprint left is a step toward conservation, and every river bathed in is a baptism into nature's church."

Hospital Hiatus: The Limited Edition Debut

2017: Hospitalised with complications, I faced my mortality for the first time. Warded for 14 days, that was the year my body decided to become a 'Limited Edition', not just for the rarity of my condition but for the newfound appreciation of life's fragility. Plus, it's a fantastic conversation starter among closest friends.

Thanks to the hospital for the exclusive membership to the 'Limited Edition' club and for reminding me that every system needs a good reboot now and then.

For the unexpected hospital stay, thank you for the reminder that health is the ultimate wealth, and "Limited Edition" has its perks, like priority boarding in life's journey.

"I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places." - Henny Youngman.

The Political Plot Twist: An Unprecedented Victory

2018: Witnessing the fall of Barisan Nasional to Pakatan Harapan was like watching a plot twist in a long-running soap opera you thought had no surprises left. Thank you, 2018 General Election, for proving that even the most established narratives can change and reminding us that every vote counts in the end."

Covering it, I felt part of something monumental, a tsunami turning towards a hopeful future. Winning the Best Social Media Engagement award was just the icing, a sweet end to a bitter battle. Thank you for showing me that change is possible and that digital engagement can help pave the way for the seismic shift in Malaysia's political landscape.

"In politics, sometimes the impossible is the untried." - Jim Hightower

Entrepreneurial Escapades: The BDSM Consulting Conundrum

2019: Dived headfirst into entrepreneurship with 'The BDSM Consulting,' not realising the acronym would raise more eyebrows than interest. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans, and COVID-19 hit. 

The pandemic taught me resilience and adaptability and that sometimes, life has a kinkier sense of humour than I do. Thank you, BDSM Consulting, for the crash course in branding and for teaching me that sometimes, the best intentions get lost in translation."

For the plans that went awry and led me unexpectedly into the world of BDSM (in a purely acronymic sense), thank you for the lesson in acronyms and their unintended impacts.

"An entrepreneur is someone who jumps off a cliff and builds a plane on the way down." - Reid Hoffman

The Global Tour That Never Was

2020: The year that promised world tours and delivered world stops. Thank you for teaching me that sometimes, life's biggest productions are put on hold, not by critics, but by nature itself. Here's to Puteri Gunung Ledang, the musical that could've taken the world by storm but took a rain check instead.

Embracing the 'Limited Edition' Life

During a year of lockdowns, I discovered I was a 'Limited Edition', again not just because of my unique quirks but because of the intimate experience of being given morphine for the first time. A heartfelt thanks to those little painkillers for showing me highs I never planned on experiencing. 

Remember, folks, being 'Limited Edition' isn't about rarity; it's about living life with unexpected spice."

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." - Maya Angelou

The Digital Phoenix Rises

9 August 2021: After years of lockdown and self-reflection, I craved corporate life's chaos. Returning to Media Prima, I was met with a familiar yet changed landscape. The challenge? To make the old aeroplane fly again. And fly it did, with a digital-first mindset that proved old antiques (and companies) could learn new tricks.

Thank you for the lockdowns that provided a much-needed pause. They reminded me that sometimes, you need to stop moving to see the path forward more clearly.

"The phoenix must burn to emerge." - Janet Fitch

2021-2024: Returning to Media Prima TV Networks was like rebooting an old computer—it's familiar, but you're just hoping it works better now. And it did, thanks to the fantastic team. Together, we're making this old aeroplane fly again, proving that sometimes, the sequel can be better than the original.

You can always come home, sometimes, because home is where the innovation is.

Reinventing the Wheel: Media Prima's Digital Uprising

During my tenure from 2021 to 2024 at Media Prima TV Networks, I witnessed a transformation that would've made Optimus Prime envious. I am grateful for the chance to steer the digital helm, proving that age is just a number when leading a digital revolution.

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." - John F. Kennedy.

Navigating the Digital Sky: Team Triumphs

2022-2024: Leading the Digital and Social Media Marketing team in the same direction as the CCM and PAM teams, we've navigated the turbulent skies of digital transformation. It's been a testament to the power of teamwork, communication, and a shared vision for the future.

To my team, thank you for being the dream team. You've shown that even the most ambitious digital-first strategies can soar with the right people.

As I steer Media Prima's digital realm towards uncharted territories, here's to my team—without whom, navigating these digital waters would be like trying to code in Sanskrit. Together, we're not just hitting KPIs; we're redefining them.

"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." - Helen Keller

When The "Limited Edition" Expires, They'll Be There

Oh, the tales I could spin about the motley crew I call my close friends! It's a roller coaster of love, block, unblock, follow, unfollow and repeat—our unique way of saying, "I need space, but make sure you stay right there." Remember the year of the Cold War? No words were exchanged, just awkward glances and a universe of things unsaid, making our eventual reunion a masterpiece of stumbling conversation and nostalgic cringes.

Then there were the 3 AM therapy sessions, my bed a makeshift psychologist's couch, listening to tales of heartache that could rival any soap opera—only for us to ponder, "But hey, how am I doing?" as the world locked down and our phones went silent.

Let's not forget the great "Bed vs. Floor" debacle, a night of luxury turned survival drama that proved friendship knows no comfort zones. We've shed tears over potential academic exiles, a stark reminder that attendance and cheating in an exam do matter, kids.

But here we are, laughing until our sides ache, each memory a hilarious chapter in the saga of our friendship. Because at the end of the day, these moments weave the rich tapestry of our shared history, a collection of "you had to be there" stories that will fuel our gatherings for years to come.

And please make sure that you'll be there when the "Limited Edition" expires.

"Friends are like underwear: close to you, know your darkest secrets, and are there for your support. And just like underwear, you keep them close unless they start to pinch."

Half a Century of Muzaffar: Unabashedly' Limited Edition'

Today, 1 April 2024: As I stand on the precipice of half a century, I can't help but look back with a grin at the absurdity, the challenges, and the sheer unpredictability of it all. My journey has been anything but ordinary, from a breech-born baby to a digital pioneer.

Thank you to all who've been part of this wild ride, from my dearest parents and family, the gynaecologist, to the incredible teams I've had the honour of leading. Here's to the next 50 years—may they be filled with as much laughter, learning, and love as the first. And remember, no matter what the universe throws our way; we're all just trying to navigate this beautiful mess called life, one quirky anecdote at a time.

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain.

Beyond the Horizon: The Next 50

The Future Myself: To the unknown adventures that lie ahead, thank you in advance for the growth, the challenges, and the opportunities to continue making an impact.

Finally, I thank myself for my resilience, perseverance, and ability to laugh through it all. Here's to being a "Limited Edition" and the many more chapters yet to be written.

As I stand on the brink of my 50th, thank you, life, for the adventures, missteps, victories, and lessons. Here's to being "Limited Edition"—rare, valuable, and irreplaceably unique.

Happy 50th—Muzaffar, always and forever, a "Limited Edition." 

Epilogue: The Art of Remaining' Limited Edition' in an Unlimited World

And just like that, with the flair of hitting 'ctrl+alt+del' on a frozen computer screen, we've rebooted my first half-century. If there's one thing this digital pilgrimage has taught me, it's that being 'Limited Edition' doesn't just apply to collector's items or rare NFTs; it's a lifestyle, a badge of honour that we proudly wear in the face of an ever-updating world.

As I sit here, drafting this epilogue on my state-of-the-art computer (which, in a few years, will inevitably become a glorified paperweight), I can't help but smirk at the absurdity of it all. We chase after the latest and greatest, only to find joy in the nostalgia of what once was. It's the circle of tech and moves us all, preferably to the nearest charging station.

So, as we prepare to close this chapter and possibly open a new tab, let's remember that life, much like the internet, is vast, unpredictable, and filled with cat videos that make everything better. Here's to the next 50 years of updates, upgrades, and the occasional system crash. Because, let's face it, what's life without a little reboot now and then?

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional, and upgrading is inevitable." - A Geek's Guide to Aging.

CHATGPT PROMPT

As you may know, turning 50 is an essential milestone in my life. I want to reflect on the past and look forward to the future, and I appreciate your help. I'd like you to craft lengthy anecdotes about all the parts of life that have made this journey worthwhile. I want the anecdotes to be chronological, starting with my childhood and ending with the present day, including future aspirations. Please keep the anecdotes light-hearted and enjoyable to read by implementing a more witty, cynical, satirical and humourous tone. Include a quotable quote related to techie, geek and dad jokes.

​​As I prepare to turn 50, I want to reminisce and look forward to the future. Could you craft a series of light-hearted and enjoyable anecdotes written chronologically, starting from my childhood memories and ending with my current life and future goals? Incorporate a humorous, witty and cynical tone. Can you also include a funny and memorable quote in the anecdotes?"